I am currently contemplating and making plans for the biggest change I’ve ever made in my quarter century of living. Gosh, when I say it that way, I feel old. Anyway, this change has got me a little bit scared, I have to say. I never did anything like this before. Turning my world upside-down – I think I’m allowed to be a wee bit nervous. Maybe a little more than a wee bit, but hey, who’s keeping score? Every big change brings a measure of fear with it. Human nature, I guess. I don’t know why change frightens us the way it does. I suppose because we never know if life will be as good as it was before.
But then again, maybe it will be so much better. Who knows? I sure don’t. Which is why I’m not just scared, I’m excited too. I’m trying to let the excitement override the fear at this point. So far, it’s working. If I don’t stop and think too much. Story of my life right? Don’t overthink it and everything will work out fine. I’ve never been very good at trusting my gut. Some months back, I wrote about home. Wondering “What Is Home?” and trying to figure out why I am so restless sometimes. I took my own advice and let it simmer on the back burner for a while. And I think it worked.
I now know where I need to be and what I need to do. I do not have the whole picture by a long shot, but I have the first few pieces of the puzzle figured out. When the time comes to put those pieces into place, my world will shift drastically. I believe that I am finally ready for that. My world has been so topsy-turvy this past year, I now know that I can handle change. And change of my own making will be a welcome change of pace. (Pardon my pun.) Everything that has transpired over the past 2 or 3 years has been leading me to this point. And I am finally ready to take my world into my own hands. It’s awfully scary, but at the same time exhilarating.