How do you know when a relationship is over? How do you know it’s time to let go? Is it a gradual drifting apart? Or a sudden painful break? Is it wrong to stop trying, to stop caring when you feel that a relationship has ended? Is there an objective way of measuring broken relationships?
I have had my fair share of relationships end. The first big ones were while I was still in grade school – both of my best friends moved away right around the same time. The first one tried for a while to remain pen pals, but the gaps between letters slowly grew larger and larger. Our last correspondence was probably about 12-15 years ago. My second best friend moved away without so much as a goodbye. I haven’t seen her since. I haven’t had a best friend since either come to think of it.
Right now I am smack in the middle of what feels like the end of yet another relationship. It never should have happened but one thing led to another until the scales reached a tipping point. Now I’m not sure we could patch things up if we wanted to. We each feel betrayed by the other and that’s a hard thing to work through.
The thing is, with the changes I am about to make in my life, it would be real easy to walk away from this person and forget the whole thing ever happened. That may even be what I should do. Leave it unmended and let Old Man Time do what he does best – heal all wounds. Perhaps without a fresh, daily reminder of what happened, we could both heal. Or maybe I need to patch it up and then walk away. Either way, I’m convinced we need some time apart.
Perhaps someday our relationship will be what it once was. Perhaps not. Right now, I’m not sure I care. There’s a vague whisper at the back of my mind that I should care. That I shouldn’t let this die because if I do, a part of me will die with it. Another part of me wants to just toss it on the scrap heap of broken relationships and move on. How am I supposed to know what to do?
And what happens when the day comes that I have a deeper relationship than a friend or sibling? What happens when I have a fight with the man I’m trying to build a life with? How will I know whether to fight for us or to let it fall apart? You can’t build a life on broken relationships. And now I know what I must do. I have to fight for every single relationship in my life. I have to fight for my family, for my friends, and someday I will have to fight for my man. I have to stay in there and fight till the very end for the people I care about. I am not a quitter. I am a warrior.