People think I am fearless. They are wrong. I am quite often scared to pieces. I have so many unreasonable fears. Fear of heights, fear of confrontation, fear of failure, to name a few. New things frighten me, challenges frighten me, my own thoughts frighten me. I have spent a lifetime learning to manage my fears. It’s like living with an incurable disease. It’s always there, but if I can mask the symptoms, I can learn to ignore it. Because of this, I will never be fearless, but each day that I get up and continue the struggle is another day that makes me brave.
People think I am hard and callous. They are wrong. I am soft and fragile and easily bruised. I am wounded by the words of others when no harm was intended. I have a compassion in me as high as the mountains, as wide as the sea. Some say I don’t care enough when the truth is that I care too much. The injustices and sadness in this world break my heart every single day. Still I continue, standing strong in spite of heartaches – both personal and on a grander scale. This makes me tough as nails.
People think I am incapable of love. They are wrong. I don’t love often, but when I do, my love is wild and fierce and never-ending. Those I love, I love for life. Those I love, I protect from harm. Those I love, I am fiercely loyal to. I will do everything in my power to take care of the ones I love. My love is deeper than the ocean, and truer than the sky. I know that I have an untapped well of love in me that will someday change the world. This makes me both a lover and a fighter.
People think a great many things and they always will. Some people will think well of me, others will wish me ill. Some will criticize, some will admire. Some will seek to help me advance and grow, others will attempt to hinder and thwart me on this path of life. At the end of it all, though, I will stand before my Creator and it will be just the two of us. And He will weigh my heart in the balances and He will judge whether I was true and good and made the best use of my talents or whether I fell short of the mark. And the fact of the matter is, I will have fallen short because no one is perfect. But He will judge my efforts and add grace to make up the difference. So at the end of the day, I answer only to myself and my God and what the rest of the world may think of me is of little consequence.