Growing up, I was very much a tomboy. Unequivocally and unashamedly. I had zero interest in “girlie” things. Makeup, hair products, and cute outfits weren’t for me. (See my post Finding My Sense of Style for more on this.) I was also a late bloomer, physically, and have always looked several years younger than my actual age. Is it any surprise that I got no attention from guys as a teen? Or even into my early twenties actually. Didn’t really bother me though as I had little interest in them either. Part of being such a late bloomer, I guess – I didn’t “discover” boys until much later than my peers. Right after I started taking an interest in my physical appearance.
But it wasn’t until the past 12-18 months or so that guys started noticing me. And the past 6 months have been downright crazy. There are several factors that play into this, I’m sure, but the one that I believe is the biggest influence is my new-found confidence. I’m no longer the shy, reserved girl I once was. Or at least not as shy and reserved, I should say. I now know my own strengths and capabilities and that knowledge has translated into a surge of self-confidence. Finally believing that I am not ugly has also done wonders for my self-esteem.
I have to say, being considered desirable feels pretty darn good. Having said that though, there were still some walls up that didn’t allow anyone to get too close. I think part of that was due to the nature of my last relationship, which was never healthy even when I thought things were good. Part of that was also because of the shy, sheltered kid I used to be. And it feels amazing to have found someone who was willing to push past my barriers and make the effort to know the real me. Because as much as I love being attractive to many guys, being desired and pursued by one is an unbelievable experience. And the best part of all? He showed up when I least expected it. I guess there really is Someone looking out for me.