Dreams on Hold – For Now

dreamsMy days in high school seem so long ago. Back when I was young and full of dreams. Dreams of a successful career, of making a difference, of changing the world. I was going to do something big with my life and I couldn’t wait to get away from the people and places I’d always known. I worked hard to graduate at the top of my class – even after skipping 11th grade. I made an almost-perfect score on the ACT and applied to my dream college. I was on my way to the life I’d always dreamed of. Funny how God has a way of changing our plans.

After my first year of college, I needed a summer job. My dad offered me one in his company. By the time fall semester rolled around, my dreams of college and career were gone. A number of circumstances had come up that forced me to put my life on hold. No, I shouldn’t say forced – I could have chosen to leave anyway. I could have put my needs and desires first. Most will say I should have. But here I am, almost 8 years later, still in the same place with the same people and doing the same things I wanted so desperately to get away from. Do I wonder what might’ve been? Of course. Do I regret walking away from what I’d always wanted? Not for a minute.

I’m not saying it’s been easy. Far from it. Doing the right thing always comes at a high price. Just because I turned my back on my dreams doesn’t mean that those dreams were dead. I’ve struggled numerous times with that decision. Did I make the right choice? Am I crazy? When will it be my turn? I always come back to the same answer – I am where I’m most needed. For now, that is enough. I wonder if life will always pass me by, if my day will ever come. Maybe so, maybe not. Either way, I will continue to live my life by the only creed I know: to do as much good as I can wherever He places me. Whether the rest of the world applauds or condemns me, even if I walk alone, I know in my heart that I have done the best that I could. In the end, that’s all that matters and I believe He will honor it.